devientbydesign

For those of you in no mood to learn vivid details of my life or the inner working of my mind. Skip to the line, “I'm Gen X. That just means we grew up like Charlie Brown Children. “ Everything after that will be more relevant to you than the dribble you are about to dive into. Just understand this: skipping ahead, will probably have more confused in the long run. Also, if any of you intend on contacting me—if it's obvious to me you skipped ahead, I’ll more than likely pass on sending a response. — I’ve been into taboo-related kinks since my early childhood. Nothing horrific happened to me either. In fact, my childhood was a wonderful experience if I am being honest. My parents were supportive, and our home was home base to all of our friends (3 separate age groups, too.) . It was the place where our friends gravitated. Having a pool in the backyard certainly helped, though not even close to the reason why it was the place to be. My mom's side of the family were the hilarious ones. My mom was hilarious, my grandma was hilarious, and my mom’s brother was hilarious. My mom’s family was Italian. I grew up with a lackluster Roman Catholic upbringing—meaning although all 3 of us went to a catholic school and attended mass on a regular basis, only my brother and sister (only a year apart from each other) graduated grade school and attended two years of catholic high school. I only made it to the second grade. According to the head priest, I didn’t fit in (I had a mild physical disability) because that apparently wired me slightly differently than others. Let's be realistic… According to the catholic upbringing, even though God doesn’t make mistakes or judge man-kind; apparently he made a few flubs here and there, and couldn’t have a boy with an awkward gait limping around the halls of his bible preaching school. That’s just bad press. (Laughing) I was the youngest of all three of us. You know, the unplanned . Out of the three of us, I am the most hilarious. My older sister, who pretty much raised me like a stand-in mother, she was the second funniest, and my brother, he could be funny for sure, but mostly was way too uptight , stressed out and WAY too high strung. We all got our sense of humor from my mom’s side. On my dad’s side. They were our German side not that it showed or that it was even a part of our cultural upbringing. It just means dad’s side of the family grew up in North Dakota on a farm where he was the second to the youngest of 14 children. His mom passed shortly after the youngest from her broken baby-shoot. Shortly after that I guess my grandpa sold the farm and came out west. They were not funny. Kind as any midwestern upbringing but bland as oyster stew minus the pepper and loved to sweep the rest of life under the carpet if anything ever became complicated. My parents remained married until my dad’s passing last year. Mom is still too stubborn to exit stage left, and still funny but not so much in control of her thoughts that bleed out. (Laughing) She never has been though. I'm Gen X. That just means we grew up like Charlie Brown Children. Okay, so how did I get weird like this? Nothing monstrous occurred. I guess being raised catholic meant everything was taboo. I really did think masturbation would cause blindness in a best case experience, and at worst, lust would send me to the pits of hell but it didn’t stop my hyper-sexuailty. The first time I got turned on—well, let's just say I spent a lot of my early upbringing worrying I would suffer in internal damnation. If there was any one trigger, it was a brief experience I had with my sister. It was nothing extraordinary, forced or damaging. It was just an experience, and yes, even to this day, it remains a strong imprint on me. For anyone curious about the details. Feel free to PM my inbox and I’ll gladly share. I’m an open book. What am I looking for? As much as I am into all these taboo and deviant fantasies; it isn’t like so many of you reading this probably think. It isn’t necessarily these fetishes that I am in search of. What really turns me on is lust. Yes. Unsaturated, untamed animalistic lust that my partner either doesn’t want to tame it or at the very least, she lets go and completely gives into it. To see a woman lean into her deepest, darkest and most lustful thirst-quenching deviant desires in the same way a man does… it triggers a visearl side of me that’s almost euphoric.. So much so, I couldn’t even begin to describe it. When I’m with a female lover or play toy (whatever label is fitting for you) and she surrenders to that within her. It is truly one of the hottest moments to share with your partner. Think about the trust it takes to connect with someone of that nature. You are basically both as naked together as you would be alone. Does this mean I want to experience all of my fantasies and desires to the extent it shifts into reality? No. It means I want to find someone to love and connect to in a way who understands me in that way. To have a partner who doesn’t shame me for these desires, and who embraces them along with my own in a way we burden them together in a realm where our fantasies can play out for each other as far as our own imaginations can paint them into vivid detail. I have been in the BDSM community for many years. I have very few hard limits. Consent is a must. Transparency, truth and communication is the foundation we build our home on top of. I have zero tolerance for lies, half truths, or secrets. It robs others of the ability to choose their own path. Often people are open to much more than we think. Just don’t expect to have an opportunity to walk back to it if you robbed them of the opportunity to make the decision for themself. No one deserves it after its been already been denied. If it matters, I consider myself a Gentle Dom. If you aren’t sure what that means, I’m happy to explain in more detail. In short, it just means, I value the strength of anyone in a submissive role because it takes more strength to surrender all that is this within this person than it ever will be to demand it using brute force. I love to entice. I love the game of seduction because I want to earn her surrender. I want to fuck her mind more than any primitive need to mount her hole. Last year I finally walked away from a toxic relationship with a partner I dearly loved. I know what the signs are now and will not hesitate to cut the cord to anything that remotely appears to be heading in the same direction. It may seem as if we are all depraved. For me, that isn’t true. I value my humanity. I am not seeking a monster. I am looking for someone who wants to embrace the lust inside of us so the beast never becomes too hungry.